No Regrets...

I used to say that I didn't have any regrets, however there are always things we wish we could go back and do over. *shrugs* Most of the triumphs, tragedies and incidents we experience I believe are cause and effect. Others are by divine design since I do believe that my footsteps are ordained by God. But as I look back, I do see where "free will" kicked in and I journeyed off track. (The sad thing about free will is that, when we choose to do what we will instead of what is God's will, it is rarely ever free. There are consequences and a price to be paid. I have paid a great price to buy my own so called freedom. And even though I am wilingly choosing God's will for my life, I feel there are still things I am paying for.) So while I don't regret the experiences I have had, there are things I wish I could do over. If I didn't believe in salvation and redemption, this list would be more relevant and possibl drive me into a deep depression. But I do believe there is hope for me yet.

That I didn't take more chances in life regarding certain things such as traveling--I could have been an evangelist or nurse in some third world country.
That I wasted kisses (and my heart) on a boy who lied to me for seven years.
That I didn't speak up when I should have and allowed a stranger to take advantage of me sexually.
That I lost so many years of loving my dad because of my anger and bitterness towards him.
That I never had the guts to hsave my head.
That I ever lived a day with fear about anything and allowed it to affect my decisions.
That my mom and I weren't friends sooner.
That I ever got involved with a friend. The romance never compares to the stability and unconditional love of true friendship.
That I never bought my black Rubicon Jeep so I could drive up PCH with my hair flying wildly in the wind to the B-52's Summer of Love.
That I don't really know my brothers and sisters.
That I never had my little boy so I could sing to Him with him.
That I didn't devote more time to write songs and poems, etc.
That I didn't take some random course in college just for the fun of it. Or that I didn't get a degree to become something more than what I am.
That I didn't stay focused more on God and the gifts He gave to me so that I could use them to bless others. Instead, I chased after things of the flesh.
That I never bought a motorcycle.
That I didn't do better in school. And I never joined a sport though I was althletic.
That I never became a chef.
That I ever lied to my friends and loved ones. Deceit is never something I wanted to be my best trait.
That I never found someone who gave me that "swept-off-my-feet feeling" to marry.
That it took me so long to sponsor a child.
That I still have a rectangular box up on the shelf in my closet filled with my dad's ashes (Well, half. The other half was spread in Montana; I was supposed to spread the remaining in the ocean.)

The last one was the one that got me started on this list.