Emotional

Okay so today was better at the El Monte site than on Tuesday. I actually had somewhat normal and friendly interactions with co-workers (there was even laughter). The two girls who I work directly with weren't surfing the web or updating their facebook--phones were still vibrating off and on all day though.

I took my box of office supplies and nick knacks with me today and once again, I spent most of my day organizing and putting things away. My new supervisor came in and apologized to me for not showing me how to use the phones on Tuesday. However, the "girl who knows everything" still didn't show me anything really. I had to ask her. And when she wasn't available, I had to ask the other girl who honestly didn't know much more than I did. It felt like a dead end.

I had lunch in our staff lounge by myself while skimming through Entertainment Weekly and attempting to answer questions on Trivial Pursuit, hosted by none other than Peter Brady. If I had been on the show, I would have won enough to pay off my debt. LOL

After lunch, I went back to my chair and my new supervisor asked if she could see me in her office. I wasn't worried since we hadn't talked about my schedule and supervision or upcoming trainings in order to ensure that I am certified in other departments. I went into her office and she said, "Did they tell you already? Erika and Yoli..." "Do you know...you know, right?" And when my look of uncertainty gave it away, she said, "You don't know? Well, I'll just wait until they tell you..." Now my anxiety was high and several things were rushing through my head, Am I being fired? Did they decide to decrease my pay more? Then she said, "I'm surprised they didn't call you yet. Maybe later...Well, I'll tell you. Just don't tell them I told you. They want to keep you."
"How?"
"Someone resigned."
"Who?"
"I'm not sure. They can tell you."
"Whoa, you scared me."
"Oh no, no, no, sorry, sorry. They want to keep you. They will probably tell you tomorrow. So act surprised."
"But I just moved all my stuff and filled all my drawers."
"I know."
Inside, I was excited. (I waited until all the girls in the front left and then I unpacked my drawers/desk and put everything back into the box.)
I agreed. I was already planning on buying a couple dozen "farewell donuts" and writing a heartfelt note to my "Covina Family". Now I shall have to continue with those plans even though I know. However, my new sup did mention that if things didn't work out and I remained at El Monte.... but it's too late. I was already...home. And I remembered a conversation with another supervisor at the Covina site (who covered at the EM site for months) yesterday about how much I disliked the El Monte site. He told me that someone had resigned from the La Puete site along with, "but you didn't hear it from me." And either late last night or early this morning, this thought came to me: Wow...church is just one straight shot from the La Puente site.

Why was that my thought? I don't know but I guess my heart was set on that subconsciously. On my way home, there was traffic and lots of it. So I tried to call a few people (not affiliated with work) to vent and let them know my situation and nobody answered. I was frustrated and overwhelmed by all of the instability of my life and just wanted to share what was on my heart with someone who would listen. I was emotional and cried some of the way home. I was so stressed and had a hamburger, chili cheese fries and an oreo shake. Not the best choice for dinner...but it was my way of coping with this emotional rollercoaster that is my job.

I shared my heart with God...He already knows what's in it anyway.